The love for poetry and its indecisive nature has come back. And I will not deny that this creature of literature best suits its habitat with a broken man. Broken heart, broken mind, broken will, and maybe even anything broken can always put the pieces together to form what we call, a poem.
Maybe I am broken or something broke which led me back to my fascination and infatuation with such a beautiful creature.
And deep inside, I am struggling.
And so I decided to post a blog again on this website for reason still vague to me. It seems my cleaning of my internet mailbox and my encounter with my posts here gave me the idea of resurrecting this old friend of ours, Live Journal, or LJ. I found the myself revisiting the past and how young emotions flow back then, and I guess, even up to now. And maybe, after doing this blog, I can revisit it again, maybe 3 to 5 years from now, and see or feel, how much older I have become... Time will tell.
I am not sure how to go about this blog post since it has been 3 years since my last post and that was the time when personal and technical development at my old work was becoming a plateau and it was downwards from then on. Besides, what am I doing now and I even found the time to do this!!! Hahaha!
Well let's see, what happened in the last 3 years of my life... I am found a new job in the same field, but better, I think. I have gone to places I never even thought of when I was young. I have been to great heights (literally) in my effort to conquer my fear of heights. And I am getting married soon after getting engaged in Paris, which is a place that never crossed my mind when I day-dreamed about proposing to my girl friend.
Ah yes, my girl friend, Katrina. I never really thought I would love someone like her. I thought I was always in the losing end of a relationship, but with her, it's so effortless to love her. But what makes everything so perfect is that she loves me back. I am a person that does not expect anything back when I give gifts or do favors to anyone. I always believed it is the core value of helping one another which makes us human. Well, most people in my life has taken that kind of attitude for granted but with Katrina, it's a rare case of give and take. And somewhere along the line, I found myself being loved back and not just on the giving end. Thank you, may soon-to-be-wife.
I guess not every story has a happy ending... most of the time, it ends pretty bad. With the state of my family, niece and nephew to be specific, I will have to say things are going pretty bad, oh yeah, it's out of control. I am not quite sure why this is happening but I guess the lack of having a real parent guiding them contributed to how the behave now. My niece is a straight up liar to be brutally honest. I guess she got that from her dad since he even faked the court wedding with my sister. Where else could she have gotten such disgusting attitude. It's really sad that it has come to a point where the gate needs to be locked up to prevent her from going outside in the middle of the night. Even her brother was very disappointed with her sister's actions. What tops it all of is that my sister who is their mother, is being lied to by her own daughter. Again, just like what their father did to her more than a decade ago. Parenting is not easy, what more when one is a single parent. I tried my best to mitigate that gap and be a good guardian to the two kids. But time and time again, I would always tell myself, it just isn't enough. It is what it is.
I hate liars. It destroys the very foundation of love.
In time, my niece will somehow know how it feels to be lied to... you know, that sad feeling of betrayal. I hope that changes her, but I am not expecting. We had high hopes for her. Is it too late for her? I think so. But people should never be boxed and everyone deserves a chance so let's wait and see.
And like every chapter in our lives, let's all wait and see how things unfold.
I want to hear something new... something real.
Look at this life sraight in the eye and somehow, feel that the world is a fallacy of everything that the people from the institute have been teaching. Should be ashamed of themselves - depicting a "would-be'"perfect world that cannot happen. Admit it.
Give me something new... something real.
People are like machines programmed to obey higher authority. Work is a perfect place to see this. Employees work there brains out because it was ordered by the supervisor, which came from the client's demands, which in turn came from the demands of the customers, which... and the list goes on and on. Hmmm... Maybe there is a God.
Show me something real... tangible.
The mind plays tricks always. Most of the time, it tricks everyone. Time. How can the mind perceive time, I ask. The answer, the mind made some smart ass guy to count 1 to 12 in a circular way and named it, clock. Thus, we have a concept of something seemingly untangible like time. Wanna hear about love? Maybe next time.Tired of seeing Reality... need something real.
I was watching the Friday practice session for the 2009 season opener F1 Australian GP and WOW! Amazing performance by the rear-diffuser car club of Williams, Toyota, and Brawn GP!!!
Brawn GP showed that they are worthy of joining the F1 pack even without sponsors! The livery did not have the stickers at all but hell, they were fast! I don't want to assume but it may be a different 2009 season after all.
Looking at the time sheets, it's a totally different set of cars on the front!
Here is the official time sheets for practice session 2: 01. Rosberg Williams 1:26.053 36 laps
02. Barrichello Brawn 1:26.157 38 laps
03. Trulli Toyota 1:26.350 42 laps
04. Webber Red Bull 1:26.370 30 laps
05. Button Brawn 1:26.374 38 laps
06. Glock Toyota 1:26.443 42 laps
07. Nakajima William 1:26.560 33 laps
08. Vettel Red Bull 1:26.740 19 laps
09. Sutil Force India 1:27.040 29 laps
10. Massa Ferrari 1:27.064 35 laps
11. Raikkonen Ferrari 1:27.204 32 laps
12. Alonso Renault 1:27.232 28 laps
13. Fisichella Force India 1:27.282 32 laps
14. Heidfeld BMW 1:27.317 34 laps
15. Kubica BMW 1:27.398 36 laps
16. Bourdais Toro Rosso 1:27.479 36 laps
17. Kovalainen McLaren 1:27.802 35 laps
18. Hamilton McLaren 1:27.81 31 laps
19. Piquet Renault 1:27.828 35 laps
20. Buemi Toro Rosso 1:28.076 33 laps
This only goes to show how much the car's set up is important for the driver to drive well! It's not 100% driver or car alone... Look at Adrian Sutil in the Force India!!! hahaha! sweet!
I just hope Ferrari and Renault get back to the pace. But... let's leave McLaren to where they are right now. It's good to hear the engines rev up again... music to the ears. Cheers!
I am in the office and the silence is unusually relaxing... I can only here myself typing and a few mouse clicks here and there. Tell me, how can silence mean so much?
And it just came to me that being succumbed to silence for more than a minute can feel a lifetime of loneliness and endless flow of thoughts... Is that how impatient people are nowadays that it takes so much of themselves when they are idle? Well, that means I am one of those people too because I felt that way. But thinking out of the box... In a world where everything has to move to be "productive"... I say, "Fuck that". Silence is the IN thing today. Try it and there's a high probability that you'll go to sleep...
If you are still reading up until here, congratulations... you just read one of the non-sensible mumblings of my mind. But hey, at least you got to "see" and "read" what was going through my idiotic mind even for just a few minutes.
This only means I have to sleep now... Thanks!
When someone from work, who you do not see everyday, who you do not really know at all, just gives you stress because of pure irresponsibility and apathy... I listen to THIS!!! Just imagine running over that mother fucker makes my day better! Nothing personal though... Cheers!
guide from www.Formula1.comTyres [para mas maraming aksidente kapag umulan]
After 10 seasons on grooved tyres, Formula One racing returns to slicks in 2009, as part of moves to increase the emphasis on mechanical rather than aerodynamic grip.KERS [kumbaga parang NOS ng mga dragger sa Fast and Furious]
From 2009 teams have the option of employing a Kinetic Energy Recovery System (KERS) to boost their car’s performance. As its name implies, a KERS recovers the (normally wasted) kinetic energy generated by the car’s braking process. This energy is stored using a mechanical flywheel or an electrical battery and then made available to the driver, in set amounts per lap, via a ‘boost button’ on the steering wheel.Engines [para mas lalong mahirapan mga driver na balahura]
In a move designed to boost reliability still further, drivers must now use the same engine for three, rather than two, consecutive events. There are also plans for measures to equalise engine performance between teams. How this will be achieved has not yet been finalised.Aerodynamics
Along with slick tyres, this is the biggest area of change for 2009. Downforce will be dramatically reduced and the cars’ bodywork will appear much cleaner, thanks to new dimensional regulations that effectively outlaw extraneous items such as barge boards, winglets, turning vanes and chimneys.
The front wing becomes lower (75mm from 150mm) and wider (up from 1400 to 1800mm - the same width as the car) with driver-adjustable flaps. Drivers will be allowed to make two wing adjustments per lap, altering the wing angle over a six-degree range. [para madagdagan ang trabaho ng mga drayber ng F1 at sulit ang bayad sa kanila]
The rear wing becomes taller (up 150mm to bring it level with the top of the engine cover) and narrower (750mm from 1000mm). [para pangit yung likod ng kotse hehe]
Also at the back of the car, the diffuser has been moved rearwards, its leading edge now level with (rather than ahead of) the rear-wheel axle line. In addition, the diffuser has been made longer and higher, all changes that will reduce its ability to generate downforce.[para hindi iwanan ng Ferrari at BMW yung mga nasa likod]Testing [para hindi masyadong makapag-develop ang mayayaman na F1 cars]
2008’s testing allowance of 30,000 kilometres is expected to be slashed by a third to 20,000 in a bid to further reduce development costs.
Photo from: www.dark-chronicle.co.uk/sr1/index.php?id=2
I was surfing google when I came across the concept of Time Traveling after watching the movie, Donnie Darko. I came to encounter the word, predestination paradox.I got interested with the word and the concept of time travel which made me read on and on about it.
One of the examples of Time Travel was this game that I played a looooong time ago on my Play Station 1 - Legacy of Kain: Soul Reaver. I suddenly remembered how amazing this game was from the graphics, gameplay concept, and of course, the story line. I bet the most of the game freaks should know this game, Raziel, and Kain. If you don't, you missed out something very interesting when you were a kid.
Reminiscing the high school days when I would not do my homework coz I wanted to finish this game so badly. Come to think of it, I came home to play PS1 back then. Hahaha!
Just sharing this great game and story line... I hope they make a movie out of it or re-release it with better graphics or something like that! Wishful thinking...
This journal is brought to you by the letter "F". I was tagged by Niel
of eTelecare. "F" is for "Ferrari" daw, at sakto naman nasa SG ako ngayon hehehe
1. Reply to this post and I'll assign you a letter.2. List (and upload, if you feel like it) 5 songs that start with that letter.3. Post that to your journal with these instructions.
- MonkeySpank [the lone surviving single that still plays in NU]
2. Fields of Gold
- Sting [reminds of my trip to the province way up north]
- Silverchair [anything by Silverchair is GREAT for me]
4. Five Years
- Sugar Hiccup [i miss Melody!!!]
5. Fighting is Over
- Urbandub [lyrics... very nice lyrics]
**Only completed this... nasa Manila nakooo hahahaha!